One month and eleven days ago, I came up with an idea. That idea has become a reality, thanks to a large number of participants and supporters. P-Momma is now free to roam inside of her house.
All in all, I believe things went very well. We had one skeptic, who actually came back to apologize when he found out this wasn't a scam. There's only been one troll to appear on this blog, which is much better than I expected. (We won't even go into the three trolls on P-Momma's blog.)
I was feeling very good, yesterday. The film has been installed, the money finally cleared in my checking account, and Princess and I were planning on sending out the remainder of donations to the P-Family, via check. However, then I get an email from P-Momma, yesterday morning. A friend (who I'll refer to a P-Friend) chose P1's birthday to send P-Momma an email. What did P-Friend say in this email? It wasn't to wish a Happy Birthday to P1, or to congratulate P-Momma on her newfound freedom. Instead, she said that P-Momma was being "disingenuous" for allowing us to raise money for the film.
Understandably, P-Momma was very upset about this. I responded with P-Momma's email, and told her she could forward it on to P-Friend. However, one of P-Friend's comments to P-Momma gives me reason to believe that P-Friend reads this blog.
...did I see that the film was less than $600?...
So, in case she's still reading it, I'm going to inform her of some things here.
P-Friends main objection seems to be Dr. P-Daddy's income. Apparently, he makes a pretty comfortable living for his family, and, according to P-Momma, their income is about the same as my household income. I have to guess that P-Friend doesn't make as much, and thinks that anyone who makes more doesn't require help from their friends. Well, while me and Princess are comfortable, we are by no mean independently wealthy. We also have a substantially lower cost of living, and the P-Family has three additional children over us. I don't know if P-Friend has any kids, but those who don't seem to have a tendency to underestimate the cost of extra mouths to feed, cloth, educate, etc.
However, as I explained to Chief (the skeptic above), this effort wasn't about the money. This was about helping someone who needed it. I'm a supporter, and practioner, of the ethic of reciprocity. P-Momma told me P-Friend is a theist, so maybe she's heard of it. One version of it, that's popular in the U.S., goes:
Matthew 7:12
"Therefore, however you want people to treat you, so treat them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
I haven't seen any addendum or disclaimer saying "as long as they don't make more money than you."
Also, if you think rationally about P-Friend's reasoning, the repercussions could be huge. If P-Friend were ever in need of help, then it is possible that she wouldn't get it. Why would her "rich" friends help her when she's never helped them. Her "poor" friends had the same view as her might see it the same way P-Friend does, and figure she can fend for herself.
What P-Friend needs to consider is P-Momma herself, not how much P-Daddy makes. At least two people have commented on my posts about what P-Momma did for them. For Bethanna, P-Momma gave a helping hand (in time and money) when Bethanna's husband had cancer. For Isabella, P-Momma negotiated with a doctor so Isabella could pay him a visit (Isabella had no insurance). In the real world, and the blogosphere, P-Momma has a large number of fans and friends. She needed help, we were able to, and we did. It's as simple as that.
Concerning her "only $600" comment. She must be picking and choosing which parts of my blog she chose to read and then comprehend. It was because of one of P-Momma's regular readers that I was able to contact MMMan who, when he found out what this was for, stepped up and donated his time, and also gave us the film at cost. He may have done it if the P-Family had explained why they needed the film, but there's no guarantee of that. P-Friend apparently doesn't realize how much it was going to cost, if Steve hadn't been so generous. The ballpark price I recieved was $10-$11/sq. ft. P-Momma gave me some estimates on her window sizes, only on the windows that faced the sun, and we were looking at over $2,000 in materials and installation. Considering that all of the windows would need it, for maximum protection, the cost would have probably been considerably greater. I'm pretty sure the amount we raised would have covered it, but saying it was only $600 is ludicrous. The better way to think of it, is that 3M, and MMMan, donated a couple of thousand dollars to this effort.
Why P-Friend is so upset about this, that she needs to degrade P-Momma for something I started, I honestly don't know. Is it upsetting to her that P-Momma, an atheist, has gotten such a show of support? If that's the case, it must really cheese her off that there were a couple of theists who donated, too. Is it upsetting to her that P-Momma has such a good life (if you minus the Lupus), a great husband (me and him think alike, so I'm biased on this one), four wonderful kids, and so many friends? In that case, I would suggest that P-Friend look at her own life, and relationships. Perhaps she could learn something from P-Momma.
Regardless of P-Friend's reasons, it doesn't matter. Why? Because today a check is going in the mail for $3,666.26, which includes donations that didn't go through PayPal. (That's just what the number came out to be. Ironic, hunh?) She can spend it in any way that she sees fit, as far as I'm concerned. She can buy some of the things suggested by donators and commenters (I sent her an email last weekend, with all of the suggestions I could find), or she can send her kids to Camp Quest. It doesn't really matter to me. I'm just happy that I could play a part in making her family happy, and allowing them to play together once more.
I've also contacted the local chapter Lupus Foundation of America with what we've found. From what I've gathered, they knew about Photosensitivity, but they weren't aware of the performance of 3M's films. I've sent them the information, and I've also contacted MMMan to find out if having volunteer installers of the film would be a feasible idea. Once I find out more, I'll keep my readers posted.
In the mean time, you should be proud of what we've accomplished. Perhaps, what we've learned here will give more people the freedom that they deserve.
(Note: if P-Friend would like to defend herself, she can either comment or email me.)
10 comments:
Huzzah! to Berzelbub. Not sure why you quoted the bible but otherwise way to go!
Since P-Friend is a believer, that would be the text that she would be the most likely to have heard a version of the ethic of reciprocity in.
Of course, Confucius also said pretty much the same thing, but five hundred years earlier. However, believers have a tendency to ignore the possible implications of that.
I am sick and tired of reading objections to the project that was well intentioned and very well executed.
Nobody donated money because P-Momma 'needed' it. Whether she needed the money was never in discussion. They all did it because they WANTED to help. How and how much is totally upto the people involved. Others should just SHUT UP!
Its funny how, when you donate to a religious cause, its never enough and never questioned, but you do it for a non-religious reason for someone you care, you are being disingenuous. Superb! Perfect religious reasoning.
I am very proud of what you did Berlzebub-what everybody has managed to do for PMomma by getting together and also of my tiny contribution towards it.
As a community we SHOULD be proud and ignore the detractors that seek to make this achievement something less than it is!
BTW- Jason- the comment above me is a psammer- i deleted a post from him in my own blog :(
@ NMORR:
To expand, or perhaps refine, what you said, "If you didn't contribute, it's none of your business because it's not your money!"
Does that about cover it?
@ Psychodiva:
I would agree, but I had some spare time. I could have said it easier by saying what I quoted above, but where's the entertainment in that. P-Friend didn't even have the guts to come to me, asking the questions. Instead, she sent an email to P-Momma, in what seems to be an attempt to make herself seem self-righteous.
Basically, what she said was unfounded, because P-Momma didn't even find out about this until it was already well underway. Since P-Friend didn't have the courage to say something to me (the one who started this), I decided to put this up to give her a chance to defend herself against our reasons for doing this.
So now, if P-Friend feels like P-Momma still considers P-Momma to be "disingenuous", she has to take it up with me, and the rest of us, in order to justify herself. I'm just doing my part to give P-Momma the happiness that she so richly deserves.
To expand, or perhaps refine, what you said, "If you didn't contribute, it's none of your business because it's not your money!
If you didnt contribute - shut up. If you did, then clearly you had trust in the original intention so shut up anyways. In fact, if a contributer is complaining - then they are the ones being disingenuous.
Well, I would have had a fit with Pfriend...you are being much more restrained. I donated because I appreciate what Pmomma has given to me through her blogging, and wanted to give a friend a gift. The best gifts are the ones that aren't expected or requested. Since I don't know Pmomma personally, I couldn't give her a gift like that. Instead, I donated to what, as a mother, I knew was important to her...being able to be with her kids. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
*LOVE ALL AROUND*
And, can I just say that it gives me a little thrill to see the final amount...not because of the size of the amount, but just the numbers. I'm sure there's some fundamental crack pot sitting at his computer attributing the total to Satan. ;)
@ NMORR:
I agree, but I didn't see anyone by P-Friends name in the donations. So, I didn't bother pointing out that bit.
@ Maggie:
At first, I was livid with P-Friend. If I'd have typed this post up at those moments, it would have been much shorter. It would have basically been very similar to NMORR's first comment here. However, the more I thought about it, the more I came to understand it would be "disingenuous" of me to so casually dismiss P-Friend.
The whole reason that I started this was to help a fellow human being have a better life. If I didn't point out to P-Friend why her views were selfish, then it would have been counter to my morals. If a person's views are counterproductive to making the world a better place, then I try to point out why they are. However, if P-Friend continues to blame P-Momma for our effort, then I might let my temper out.
@ P-Momma:
And you accepted the check from someone who goes by Berlzebub (I hate being called Satan!). Please be sure to sign the included contract, in blood, before cashing the check.
PS. fundamental crackpot is redundant, don't you think?
There was nothing disingenuous about this effort; everything about it was clear and obvious. If P-friend is jealous of the care shown, it's a sad commentary on her sense of self.
I feel nothing but good about my contribution and it's outcome.
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