Much Ado About Nothing: Ground Zero Mosque, Book Burning, and Bieber

This is the first of a series of posts I'm going to title "Much Ado About Nothing". They will cover, hopefully humorously, those non-issues that are just so ridiculous that I can't help but put in my thoughts on them. I hope to make people smile, chuckle, or laugh like I did when these thoughts occured to me.

Todays MANN covers the Ground Zero Mosque, book burning, and Justin Bieber. All are topics that would otherwise be relegated to the 'B' section of a local paper, except for people's propensity to over-inflate their egos.

The Ground Zero Mosque
Perhaps you've heard about the Proposed Not-Quite-a-Mosque Approximately Two Blocks from the Former Location of the World Trade Center. Yeah, I'm gonna call it Park51, because PNQaM~2BftFLotWTC is too long of an acronym. Anyway, it's apparently a big deal to a bunch of people. I'm not quite sure of the reason, but it seems to be... Aw hell, I won't even try to guess.

One thing talked about is the proximity of the mosque to Ground Zero. Unless you've lived under a rock for, or weren't born in, the last decade you'll understand some of the history. I have yet to hear if they decided on an actual area surrounding such an event that would make something acceptable. Perhaps they can turn it into a unit of measurement, like the Mark Twain. How about the "Mark Malefaction"? Crap, that would make it the acronym of "MM", which could be confusing. Let's make it the "Way Afar Hectares", then.

My view on Park51? I find it pointless, and calling it a community center is a bit misleading. Apparently, in order to be accepted you have to dress appropriately. I would think a community center would be accepting of outfits that fit with the legality of the locale. Other than that, I have no problem with it. I have as many issues with Park51 as I do with churches who spend a great deal of money on an overly loud sound system when that money could have been better used to help the needy.

Book Burning
In other news, a church down in Florida was going to hold a Burn a Koran Day. If people want to burn donated books, I'm not against it. However, as with Park51, I find it pointless for a couple of different reasons.

The main reason is the waste of burning the book. You can do what Jefferson did and go through the book, cutting out the parts that you find stupid, and turn it into something actually readable. Doing that is actually handy because you can then make a separate book of everything atrocious contained in it.

If there's no redeeming parts of the book, then burning it is even worse. All you're doing is replacing polution of the mind with polution of air. Try recycling, and hopefully the book will be reincarnated as something better.

Second is that in order for the burning of books to be legal, the books have to be purchased, or purchased and donated. In which case, the more people who buy the books the higher on the "best seller" list the book will become, even if no one is reading it. If enough people think a book should be burned, and mostly they haven't read the book either, it will push it up into the top ten, and then the rest of the nation will wonder why the book is so popular and start buying up copies that won't be burned. Next thing you know, an extremely bad book on sparkly vampires is on the best seller list, and no one quite understands why.

Okay, I jest, slightly, but do you have a better explanation for the Twilight phenomenon?

Justin Bieber
Speaking of Twilight*, have you heard about Justin Bieber? From what I understand, he's some famous guy who's friends with Usher. He also joked about dating Kim Kardashian, and she got death threats. It seems the best way to bring out the ire of the (pre-?)adolescent homo sapien female is to trash her romantic dreams that are based on a very loose grasp of reality.

Maybe a warning, like the "explicit lyrics" content one, should be put on Mr. Bieber's music.

Warning: "Bieber Fever" may cause delusions in "fan"atics.

Unless you actually hang around them, entertainers aren't your "BFF", "BF", or GF". Even if you did meet them, the odds are that you would be disappointed in the reality as opposed to the fantasy that you've built up in your head. So when you hear about them dating someone, don't be angry. Do what everybody does when they have to deal with someone they once liked moving on. Sell all of those momentos in a yard sale.

Let's review...

1) The Ground Zero Mosque is pointless but it isn't on Ground Zero and it isn't actually a mosque.

2) Book burning is a waste. Please recycle instead.

3) That entertainer you are so in love with may not be the person you think they are.

There you have it, some of my thoughts on subjects of no concern. Hopefully, I've brought at least a smile to your face, but if I've made you think, even better. Until next time, this is the non-news.

* If you don't understand the segway, please Google Team Edward Team Jacob.