Show Me Your Divinity

Today the Pew Forum released a survey on religious knowledge, and it's got the atheist blogosphere buzzing. Both Hemant and PZ have done posts on it, and no atheists/agnostics are surprised at the findings. However, it's the tangent that interests me.

Some atheists are critical of the Gnu Atheists for criticizing religion without examining the latest arguments for the existence of God. It boils down to the courtier's reply. Larry Moran throws down the gauntlet and asks for the "very best 21st century, sophisticated (or not), arguments for the existence of God." I'm not expecting anything even remotely resembling an argument, let alone evidence, but I think Dr. Moran, Dr. Myers, and the others are doing it wrong. I think they're calling on the wrong people to provide the evidence. Why not tell God/YHWH/Jehovah/Allah/whatever itself that it needs to prove its existence.

Christian and other apologists are constantly resorting to philosophical, teleological, and scientific cherry-picking to support their claim that their deity of choice exists. However, considering the claim itself I think that's going about it all wrong. The fact that they are the ones who have to defend its existence seems to be evidence that it doesn't exist. It's almost... well, actually exactly like it's a figment of their imagination and they're trying to prove the existence of their invisible friend.

The solution is fairly simple; God needs to show itself. I'm sure Princess wouldn't mind, especially if it did the whole water into wine, and multiplying a loaf of bread and some fish (sticks) into enough to feed my family. That would be ample reason for me to believe that it's actually a deity, but with the caveat that it doesn't stop at Kroger on the way to my house. After eating, it can show me some miracles, we can have a little chat about which deity it actually is, the authenticity of the Bible/Koran/Torah/whatever religious text it authored, and then have an in-depth discussion on morality and ethics*.

Think of it like proving the existence of any creature. The first gorilla was described in 1847, but one wasn't observed in the Western world until 1861. The panda has a similar story. However, once they were shown to exist denying their existence was an exercise in stupidity. Granted, a deity has to go a little further, but the basis is the same. Show up, give me evidence of divinity, and then we'll chat a while. It's that simple. However, I feel the need to add some rules.

Showing up and knocking on my door for entrance won't cut it**. I would actually prefer that it suddenly appear out of thin air in my presence***. It should already know my address, where I am, and other details so it can pick the right time and place to appear. Be aware, doing so in the passenger seat while I'm on my way to work earns it extra points, unless it makes me wreck. Considering it's supposed to be omnipotent, it should know the best circumstances in which to make its dramatic entrance.

Also, the miracles needs to be actual miracles. It has to be something that actually requires divine intervention in order to happen. If it points to my daughters as evidence of a miracle I'm throwing it out on it's ass. Considering the deity's imnipotence, it would know what I would require to believe in it, so I won't go into details here. Although, having Sarah Palin come out as a gay atheist in support of socialized health care would be a decent start.

All the apologists can just stop trying, for all I care. I can understand attempting to defend your god's position, but when you have to defend the very existence of your deity then it becomes an exercise in futility. If God can't make an appearance it seems to me that it doesn't exist, or it's dead. Either way it's a lost cause. Perhaps it did exist at one time, but if it can't show itself to me now then even the concept of God is wrong.

So there you have it. What it would take for me to start believing in God, or any god. It actually wouldn't be that hard for a supernatural deity to make me believe in them. The difficult part would be it explaining to me why I should hold it in high regard.

* - Or any other subject which said deity wants to discuss.
** - If you knock (or break and enter) and tell me you think you're God, then prepare for a padded room.
*** - Major points for appearing as Charlize Theron.